Mr. Walls’ Tips for Life

1. There are plenty ways to enter a pool. The stairs isn’t one.
2. Never cancel dinner plans by text message.
3. Don’t knock it off ‘til you try it.
4. If a street performer makes you stop walking, you owe him a buck.
5. Always use “we” when referring to your home team or your government.
6. Act like you’ve been there before, especially in the end zone (don’t be surprised by success).
7. When entrusted with a secret, keep it.
8. Don’t underestimate free throws in a game of HORSE.
9. Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.
10. Nothing good happens after 3 am.
11. All hats serve a purpose, that purpose ceases when you step inside.
12. Don’t get married before you can legally drink.
13. Don’t dumb it down.
14. Return a borrowed car with a full tank of gas.
15. You only get one change to notice a new haircut.
16. If you’re staying more than a night, unpack.
17. Never park in front of a bar.
18. Always RSVP.
19. Return lost wallets with everything in them.
20. Expect the seat in front of you to recline. Prepare accordingly.
21. Keep a picture of your first fish, first car, and first girlfriend. (LOL)
22. Hold your heroes to a higher standard
23. A suntan is earned, not bought
24. Don’t squash bugs.
25. Never lie to your Doctor.
26. All guns are loaded.
27. Don’t mention sunburns, they know.
28. The best way to show thanks is to wear it, even if it’s only once.
29. Tell people when you want a gift, no one is a mind reader.
30. Take a vacation from the internet, cell phones, and TV once a year.
31. Don’t fill up on bread, no matter how good.
32. At a ball park, never start a wave. But don’t let it die.
33. A handshake beats an autograph.
34. Don’t linger in the doorway. In or out.
35. f you choose to go in drag, don’t sell yourself short.
36. In pickup baseball, let someone else call the fouls.
37. If you want to know what makes you unique, sit for a caricature.
38. Don’t jog shirtless.
39. Never get your haircut the day of a big event.
40. Be mindful of what comes between  you and the Earth. Buy god tires, good sheets, and good shoes.
41. Never eat lunch at your desk if you can avoid it.
42. When you’re with friends, don’t just talk about old friends.
43. In her dad’s eyes, until you marry her, you’re not in the picture.
44. Each lunch with the new kids.
45. Ask your mom to play. She won’t let you win.
46. When traveling, keep your wits about you.
47. It’s never too late for an apology.
48. Cellphones have amplifiers.
49. Don’t pose with booze.
50. If you have the right of way, take it.
51. You don’t get to choose your own nickname.
52. Just raise your glass, no need to clink it.
53. You marry someone, you marry their whole family.
54. Never push someone off a dock.
55. Under no circumstance should you ask a woman if she is pregnant.
56. It’s not enough to  be proud of your ancestry, live up to it.
57. When building a fire, pick deadwood from trees, not the ground.
58. Don’t make a scene.
59. When giving a thank you speech keep it short.
60. Know when to ignore the camera.
61. Suck it up.
62. Be subtle. He/she sees you.
63. Give credit. Take blame.
64. Sympathy is a crutch, never fake a limp.
65. When opening presents, no one likes a good guesser.
66. Never gloat.
67. Make time for your mom on your birthday. It’s a special day for her, too.
68. Invest in great luggage.
69. Offer your date the seat with the best view of the restaurant.
70. Never be the last one in the pool.
71. Never turn down an invite to speak in public.
72. Don’t stare, people watch.
73. Address anyone who carries a firearm professionally as “Sir” or “Ma’am”.
74. Stand up to bullies. You’ll only have to do it once.
75. If you’ve made your point, stop talking.
76. Admit when you’re wrong.
77. If you offer to help, don’t quit until the job is done.
78. Look people in the eye when you thank them.
79. Never post a picture online that you wouldn’t feel comfortable showing your mother, your boss, or the dean of administrations.
80. Thank the bus driver.
81. Never ask another person’s grade or salary.
82. Never answer your phone at the table.
83. Forgive yourself for your mistakes.
84. Know at least one good joke.
85. Make yourself useful on a boat.
86. Never turn down a girl’s invitation to dance.
87. Don’t boo. Even the ref is someone’s son.
88. Know how to cook at least one good meal.
89. Learn to drive stick shift.
90. Smile at pretty girls and handsome boys.
91. Never leave a job without securing your next employment.
92. Be cool to the younger kids. Reputations build overtime.
93. If you’re out with friends, never be the first to go home. 
94. It’s okay to go to the movies by yourself.
95. Dance with your partner, not at them.
96. Don’t with your mother/father.
97. Don’t lose your cool, especially at work.
98. Always thank the hosts.
99. If you don’t understand, ask before it’s too late.
100. Know the size of your girlfriend/boyfriend’s clothes.
101. There is nothing wrong with a plain t-shirt.
102. Be a good listener. Don’t just wait your turn to talk.
103. Carry your mother’s bags. She carried you for 9 months.
104. In college, always sit at the front of the classroom. You’ll stand out immediately. They’ll remember come grade time.
105. Keep your word.
106. Never side against your brother/sister in a fight.
107. Always makes friends with the janitors, secretaries.
108. Be patient with airplane personnel.
109. Offer your seat to a woman, no matter how old she is.
110. If you have a sister, get to know her boyfriend. Your opinion is important.
111. You won’t always be the strongest or fastest. But you cam be the toughest.
112. Call your mom. She misses you.
113. Don’t litter.
114. Never call someone before 9 am or after 9 pm.
115. If you HAVE to fight, punch first and punch hard.
116. Never talk during a movie.
117. The opposite sex likes people who shower.
118. Buy the orange properties in Monopoly.
119. Don’t gamble.
120. You are what you do, not what you say.
121. An hour with grandparents is time well spent. Ask them for advice when you need it.
122. Learn to change a tire.
123. Be kind. Everyone has a hard fight ahead of them.